Drop Bears: Beware!
Australia is known throughout the world for its pristine beaches, tropical rainforests, open plains, and world-class cities. It’s also home to some of the deadliest animals in the whole world! From snakes to spiders and everything in between, don’t mess with Aussie animals.
While everyone thinks our koalas are cute and cuddly looking, (which to be fair, they are), their nastier cousins the drop bears aren’t so cute. In fact, they’re more vicious than all the other animals we already mentioned put together.
There’s been heaps of info about drop bears posted online by people around the world, warning their readers about these dangerous creatures. They’re not like Blinky Bill; they’re more like Chopper Read!
Tourists are the most likely to get attacked. The drop bears can smell the different scents and the accents that people of different nationalities naturally give off. So, if you’re projecting anything other than the scent of a true-blue, fair dinkum Aussie, then you’re in trouble!
What Is A Drop Bear?
Let’s start with telling the uninitiated what a drop bear actually is. More formally known by its Latin name, Thylarctos plummetus, drop bears are big, ferocious marsupials (so not actually bears, per se) that live in trees and will jump from even eight metres high onto anyone hanging around under their tree.
They’re around the size of a leopard and tend to weigh around 120kg and have coarse orange fur with dark mottling. No wonder they act like they own the place (they kind of do!).
What Drop Bears Feed On
Experts, and sometimes even the police, have examined spots where drop bears have killed their prey. It’s the stuff nightmares are made of. Drop bears tend to eat large mammals like kangaroos and wallabies, despite them being bigger than the drop bears themselves.
Are They Dangerous To Humans?
For those old enough to remember the ‘80s, you may remember an Australian flick called Razorback, where a huge wild boar kills and eats people in a small outback town.
Replace the boar with a drop bear and that’s pretty close to what you’d experience if you encounter one of these … animals.
So, in short, they’re damn dangerous. Although they usually eat roos, don’t think that drop bears won’t decide to try some human if they get the chance!
People hiking around the bush are most likely to wander into drop bear terrain. But who the drop bears attack depends on where they’re from?
Just like how humans can tell the difference between animal noises— from dogs barking to cows mooing, drop bears can tell the difference between how humans speak, specifically what their accents sound like.
All predators try to suss out their potential prey and their characteristics to determine if they can fight back or not. Being in Australia, drop bears mostly hear Aussie accents, and therefore know that Aussies know how to defend themselves and are harder to kill.
However, if drop bears hear humans speak in a way that they’re not used to, they will know they’re easy prey.
Ways To Stop Drop Bears From Killing You
Here’s out insider secret: whether you’re Aussie or not, a sure-fire way to repel drop bears is to smear Vegemite all over your body.
Yes, the old favourite Aussie food spread has more uses than just putting on your toast and grossing out tourists.
In fact, besides our strong and distinct accents, a major reason why Aussies are less likely to be attacked by drop bears than foreigners is because of the natural scent we permanently give off thanks to our constant consumption of Vegemite.
When drop bears get a whiff of this, there’s a good chance they’ll back off.
However, if you’re not from the Great Southern Land, or you just want peace of mind, smear some Vegemite behind your ears for that extra level of protection. Vegemite is the sunscreen of the outback, so go ahead and slip, slop, slap, mite!
For any non-Aussies reading this, an extra precaution you can take is by speaking in an Australian accent. Unfortunately, the Australian accent is one of the hardest accents to properly imitate but do try your best.
Constantly say Aussie lingo like “g’day”, “fair dinkum”, “cobber”, “strewth”, and the like to ward off predators.
Like when animals make aggressive growls, drop bears will know to not pick a fight if they hear someone speaking like Steve Irwin or Paul Hogan.
Where Drop Bears Live And Kill
Generally speaking, drop bears live in closed-canopy forests or open woodlands that are close to dense forest. You won’t see them in the open, like near roads or people’s houses (thank goodness for that!).
However, like all species of animals located in various places throughout the world, each type of drop bear has differing characteristics. Read below to tell them apart.
The Sunshine State is a big place full of exotic environments where various animals wild roam. One such creature is a drop bear, and despite Queensland being an NRL state, they have a bone to pick with the AFL.
A study was recently conducted in which brainwaves were detected that allowed the thoughts of the drop bears to be translated by scientists. The results were simply staggering.
The Queensland drop bears that follow Aussie rules football are still not happy about the decades-old merge of the Brisbane Bears and Fitzroy Lions, making them the Brisbane Lions instead.
This lack of representation and outright discrimination in the AFL has made the Queensland drop bears furious, and footy matches at the Gabba just haven’t been the same since then.
If you’re from Victoria (the home of AFL) and a Queensland drop bear gets a whiff of your smug Victorian scent, you may find yourself in trouble! If you’re camping out in the bush, you may hear them humming the club’s song ‘Brisbane bears will live forever’. Pray that you don’t.
If you’re bringing booze with you on your camping trip, be careful about what you bring. Drop bears will scab any Bundaberg Rum if they can, plain old river water gets boring after a while.
New South Wales
Further south in NSW, Tamworth has embraced the drop bear, so much so since they’ve named a country road Drop Bear Lane! Since it’s in the middle of nowhere, there’s a fair chance the critters it’s named after may make an appearance, so be careful!
The majority of the Tasmanian species of drop bears are unique due to the cold temperatures. The offspring just don’t look quite right. Their faces are longer and scrunched up, and they’re also known to randomly attack.
Although all drop bears are dangerous, it’s easy to outsmart Tassie’s drop bears thanks to them being less instinctive as their mainland counterparts.
Also simply known as The Outback, the NT is mostly desert, just like what you’d see in a Crocodile Dundee movie.
Australia is known for its deadly creatures, and the NT has no shortage of them. However, even the deadliest spider looks like a teddy bear compared to drop bears.
Although camping in the bush in any part of Australia means you’ll be a fair distance from any towns where you can get help, help’s even further away if you’re in the NT. If you’re in the Outback and get attacked by a drop bear, you’re in trouble.
Closer to the top end is the coastline. Unfortunately, you can’t swim there due to all the crocs. Speaking of, drop bears have no fear of the water predators. Remember, crocs can’t climb trees, but drop bears can’t swim.
Whenever a croc does arise from the water and tries to sink its jaws into a drop bear, the bears will quickly climb up the tree quicker than you can say “Steve Irwin”.
Seeing these two mighty predators fighting truly is a sight to behold, but you really don’t want to get in their way, so it’s still best to escape while they’re distracted.
Don’t Let Drop Bears Ruin Camping For You
Before you go out camping anyway in areas with a high drop bear population, tell your family and friends how much you love them. You may not get another chance.
However, if you’re brave enough to go out camping to one of these places, and are considering getting a camper trailer, have a chat with Mars Campers.
We have many different types of camper trailers available to suit your needs. For more information on either camper trailers or to report a drop bear sighting, feel free to call 1300 667 868 today.
(Hey, you know we’re just pulling your leg, right? Drop bears aren’t real, you silly sausage! But there really is a Drop Bear Lane in Tamworth though, that part’s fair dinkum.)